Northern Star
by ErokoTan
Summary: It was an age of science and exploration, but also an age of memories that would leave their marks.


**A/N: This took way too long to finish. OTL This turned out way different than I planned too... **

**Units of time: **/wiki/Units_of_time

**Oneshot. **

**Warnings: I own nothing. If I did, Hasbro would be screwed.**

**Enjoy…**

Northern Star

By: SilverShadow140/

Eroko Nashuri

October 31st, 2011

A smile.

That's all it took to consume him; just a quick little perk at the edges of those full lips and then he was sent away into a bliss he had never known before then. It made his spark feel alight with joy and affection – all those feelings his creator had tried to quash – and he _loved _it. It felt so right, just being there with that smile. It made all of those dull, monotone days seem that much more colourful, and to him, that was worth so much more than anything his creator had offered. His creator, that slagger who had forced him in the War Academy the first time, had been furious after he had left for the science academy in Vos. Sure it was no Crystal City, but the young seeker was content either way.

It had been about a stellar cycle since Starscream had found the one thing that made him seem free – the one thing that had gotten him to take his life into his own hands. The one thing was actually a fellow Cybertronian; one by the name of Skyfire.

It had been almost fateful how they had met, and it seemed fateful how the young seeker had been drawn to Skyfire's calm and in control attitude. Like he had an air of power, only not the tyrant sort; it was a calm and serene but with that sharp edge the practically shouted that he was strong. It was the air of someone who could be a leader, but was too kind to do so, and it was an alluring to the young seeker.

"… Starscream."

Skyfire's voice drew the tri coloured seeker out of his daze, and his optics glanced up to Skyfire's bright blue ones. The shuttle smiled, sitting next to Starscream, whom sat at a desk that had data pads stacked in piles, some askew, pouring over research. Picking up a data pad, Skyfire browsed its contents leisurely, a smile perked at the corners of his lips. "I couldn't find any more information when I visited the lab so this will have to do." He paused his reading, shifting in his seat so he was facing Starscream. "If you want to, we can probably request some star maps from Crystal City, but that will take some time."

Starscream returned the smile, giving a small nod as he shifted some of the data pads away from him. "Yes, that's fine. Thanks for the help with this, Skyfire." He felt giddy with excitement for once in his meek existence, and of course it was from something his creator had shunned. Exploration.

He was going to explore some of the far reaches of the galaxy, and what was not a better way to do so with his new close friend. It wouldn't be immediately, but it was something the younger mech looked forward to during his studies. "I really do appreciate it. All of it."

Skyfire's smile perked more at the corners as he set down data pad. "I'm just glad to see you happy." There he went again – being so nice. It made Starscream's systems heat slightly, and his head turn to look at his work to hide his embarrassment. The young mech muttered something, optics staring blankly at his right servo, which was running along the edge of the desk. He could feel his spark flutter lightly, but that was nothing new. It always did around Skyfire.

But that was a part of being young, right? It wasn't like he loved Skyfire, right?

Primus, he didn't know – there was still so much that he wasn't certain about, and was willing to take time to learn about. Take it all one thing at a time, and don't give up. Just learn as you go. Or so Skyfire had told him a little after they had first met and Starscream had decided to leave the War Academy.

He glanced back at the shuttle, who chuckled softly as he got to his feet. "I'll see you tomorrow at the lab?"

Starscream nodded, remaining silent. Skyfire nodded back, then turned and left in a cheery mood as usual. But all Starscream could wonder was…

Was he in love?

Even despite how much his creator had discouraged such wishful thinking?

_If_ he was in love with the shuttle, what was he to do?

No more work got done before Starscream fell into recharge – his mind was elsewhere, and no matter how he tried to focus otherwise, his CPU kept straying to Skyfire.

He had been listening for the most part, hadn't he?

Starscream shook his head to rid himself of the daze that had befallen him. He was behind his worktable, which was cluttered with various objects just staring at the bot who was speaking. He should have been listening – he had been waiting to hear the report about the exploration all week but his optics and processor had other plans apparently.

The object which had drawn his attention was none other than Skyfire; the one giving the report. Finally, the report was wrapped up, leaving Starscream to feel guilty. But he could ask for a copy for more in depth review later…

Still, it would have been nice to be able to talk to Skyfire about it while they worked in the lab; that much Starscream couldn't deny.

He silently returned to work, although he would occasionally glance up to watch the shuttle discuss a few minor details with other scientists casually. The young jet pouted slightly, glancing back down at his work as he mixed a few chemicals with a little less care then he usually would have had. The thoughts he had had during Skyfire's presentation remained in his CPU as much as he tried to banish them, and to his distress, when the shuttle finally reached his work table, he could only stare blankly for a moment, his internal systems heating slightly.

When his internal fans finally kicked in, he realized that Skyfire had said something. "I'm sorry I spaced out there, what did you say?" Starscream silently prayed to Primus that Skyfire couldn't hear the hum of his cooling fans.

In return, Skyfire gave a worried smiled. "You've been a little out of it today; are you alright? I'm a little worried."

Starscream nodded, although only slightly. "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little excited for the upco—Ahhh!" Starscream – who had been continuing his pouring of chemicals and hadn't noticed until the substance bubbled and overflowed onto his hands, making him shriek in pain.

Skyfire looked worried and hesitated for a moment before takings Starscream by the shoulders and leading him off to the medical room, sitting the still shrieking jet on a berth while he found what was needed to neutralize the corrosive chemicals. Examining Starscream's hands he looked to the seeker's optics apologetically. "This is all I can do with what we have here, but I'm sure we can get a proper doctor to come and take a look." His servos rubbed Starscream's hands gently to soothe the mech's pain, and the young bot could only stare at the shuttle, his systems heating faster.

"It's fine, I can go and find a doctor so it doesn't disrupt anyone here…" Starscream tried to peel his attention away from Skyfire's smooth hands as they ran over the sore surface of his own, but his optics never left the sight, even as the shuttle shook his head. "I'd be too worried if I didn't make sure you were alright."

Starscream looked up questioningly, red optics fixed on Skyfire's face whom bore a small smile. "You're a dear friend Starscream, and if anything happened, I'm sure I'd end up blaming myself…"

Starscream smiled, though his spark felt… saddened almost.

"A dear friend… right…"

"You're not in any pain, are you?" Skyfire asked from where he sat on the floor in Starscream's quarters, data pads scattered here and there along with star charts and other various materials. "I mean, you have been doing a lot and the doctor said that you should take it easy…?" The shuttle sounded worried, and maybe even a little apprehensive as Starscream sifted through a pile of charts looking for one in specific.

For a moment, Starscream stopped to glance over to his friend, almost chuckling. "If light work like this caused me pain I wouldn't be allowed to do anything." He pulled the one star chart he had been seeking and showed Skyfire.

"According to your report, the planet that had life is here," He pointed it out on the map, glancing at the data pad that held Skyfire's earlier report. "But because we pass at least three other planets that have been mentioned for study in other reports, I figure we can stop there either on the way there or back."

He looked up to Skyfire, searching for approval, and gained it when the shuttle nodded. "That way we can also confirm theories for reports that haven't gained access to send out an expedition team." He smiled approvingly. But this seemed to make Starscream ache once again. _Just a dear friend_. Those words were still fresh in his CPU and made his processor throb with just the thought of them, but why? He had thoroughly convinced himself that he didn't see as anything more, but then when those truthful words had come to light he suddenly felt so… distressed. But why? The young seeker didn't feel anything but friendship… nothing but a companionship that never got further than that of the workplace…

"Yes, that way rather than having to send out other teams when it becomes relevant we can just gather what data is needed and there won't be resources used on other teams that really don't need to go out." Starscream's words sounded hollow, even to himself. Skyfire's optics flashed with concern then, drawing the larger mech to get up and settle closer.

Feeling Skyfire grow closer, Starscream went ridged with a sudden inward feeling of panic; he wanted the distance so he could figure this all out, he _needed_ to think without worrying that the shuttle would hear the low hum of his cooling fans. Squirming where he sat, Starscream focused his optics on the charts.

"Are you alright? You're sure that you're not in any pain?" Skyfire's tone was soft and caring, wrenching that feeling in his circuits again. But Starscream didn't trust himself to vocalize his condition – he just gave a quick nod in hopes to relieve the large shuttle's worry. He couldn't tell if it had worked or not, but there were no more prying questions, just a silence as they continued going through information. Whether it was comfortable or not, the seeker couldn't tell – he focused on his work trying to avoif the wandering of his thoughts.

The rest of their work leading up to the expedition turned out a lot like this as well, both of them sitting in a silence and working away. There was the occasional little bit of banter, but it was usually brief and fairly limited. But that was all that Starscream needed for his CPU to go over everything, and his conclusion was quite troublesome.

He had an infatuation with Skyfire.

At least he had managed to narrow it down to that, which was a great deal of progress. What he wasn't sure about know though was if he should tell the larger mech. Though keeping it hidden and playing shy was not an ideal situation for the seeker – it would make him seem like a sparkling with a crush. So instead he resolved to tell Skyfire, eventually. Probably when they both weren't weighed down by research, simply put – after they finished their expedition.

And this was the confidence he felt when he and Skyfire departed; there was no complications of excess feelings, but the knowledge that after he could set everything right. It was like a euphoric high that he had never felt before, and Starscream loved it.

That was until the unthinkable happened.

The one happy mood was soured by something Starscream had never expected – loss. And it ached everything in him, even as he searched frantically among the snowdrifts and raging blizzard. It was like his spark had been ripped from its compartment and lost along with Skyfire. But even in time, his searching seemed vain as much as he didn't want to admit it, but there was no happiness in perishing or getting lost like the shuttle was.

And as much as it hurt, he would move on.

Even if it took thousands of years and a harsher life to shape him into someone who could let go.


End file.
